I am trying to learn to Just Be. This is difficult for me. Be Content. Be Restful. Be Joyful. Be Peaceful. Be Grateful. Just Be.
I am now almost 5 months cancer free (hallelujah!) and feeling good most days! I haven’t written a blog in 3 months, so let me catch you up on my journey.
I was pretty fatigued until about a month ago when I FINALLY got some energy back. Most days I feel pretty good, some days I have to Just Be. And Rest. Some days I can workout or run and work all day and play tennis at night and have enough energy to live life! Just Be my normal self!
I was on Tamoxifen for three weeks, and went off because of the exhausting side effects of fatigue and achiness. I was off for three weeks and then restarted at a half dose. About five days later, the side effects started again, so at 10 days I went off. The next step is to have shots to shut down my ovaries to send me into a medically induced menopause and then try me on the post menopause drug, Arimidex. I had my first shot of Lupron in July and then experienced a daily headache (one of the side effects, of course!). Last week I had another shot of a different drug. Once my hormone levels show I am in menopause, I will be tried on the Arimidex. IF I tolerate it, I will have my ovaries removed and will be on Arimidex for 5-10 years. If I don’t tolerate it, I will not be on any hormone blocker and will be closely monitored. Quality over quantity. God knows the number of my days and He is in charge. I will have to Just Be content.
In October, I will receive my six month scans, which causes me a bit of anxiety. But I know God’s got this and I need to Just Be calm and let him take over. I am also scheduled for reconstructive surgery on 10/17.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1Peter 5:7
I am focusing on some bible studies right now and started a new job at church, surrounding myself with good supportive people and the Word and trying hard to Just Be. I am sharing my journey as God is using me to help others. And of course very thankful for Dennis (The ROCK), my kids and family and friends. I am blessed.
So that is where I am right now. Kind of a watch and wait with treatment and drugs, learning to Just Be patient.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10