I am trying to learn to Just Be.  This is difficult for me.  Be Content.  Be Restful. Be Joyful.  Be Peaceful.  Be Grateful.  Just Be.

I am now almost 5 months cancer free (hallelujah!) and feeling good most days!  I haven’t written a blog in 3 months, so let me catch you up on my journey.

I was pretty fatigued until about a month ago when I FINALLY got some energy back.  Most days I feel pretty good, some days I have to Just Be.  And Rest. Some days I can workout or run and work all day and play tennis at night and have enough energy to live life!  Just Be my normal self!

I was on Tamoxifen for three weeks, and went off because of the exhausting side effects of fatigue and achiness.  I was off for three weeks and then restarted at a half dose.  About five days later, the side effects started again, so at 10 days I went off.  The next step is to have shots to shut down my ovaries to send me into a medically induced menopause and then try me on the post menopause drug, Arimidex.  I had my first shot of Lupron in July and then experienced a daily headache (one of the side effects, of course!).  Last week I had another shot of a different drug.  Once my hormone levels show I am in menopause, I will be tried on the Arimidex.  IF I tolerate it, I will have my ovaries removed and will be on Arimidex for 5-10 years.  If I don’t tolerate it, I will not be on any hormone blocker and will be closely monitored.  Quality over quantity.  God knows the number of my days and He is in charge.  I will have to Just Be content.

In October, I will receive my six month scans, which causes me a bit of anxiety.  But I know God’s got this and I need to Just Be calm and let him take over.  I am also scheduled for reconstructive surgery on 10/17.

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1Peter 5:7

I am focusing on some bible studies right now and started a new job at church, surrounding myself with good supportive people and the Word and trying hard to Just Be.  I am sharing my journey as God is using me to help others.  And of course very thankful for Dennis (The ROCK), my kids and family and friends.  I am blessed.

So that is where I am right now.  Kind of a watch and wait with treatment and drugs, learning to Just Be patient.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”        Isaiah 41:10